What do you do when you think you selected a wrong wife after 9 years?

I have been married for 9 years and feel that I could have better wife (In terms of attitude and sharing). In the earlier days of marriage we concentrated on things we both like and common to both of us. Now it is reverse. We identify each others mistakes/shortcomings and argue or fight. I am introvert and she is extrovert. I think more and she does not think. She is not too bad to leave. Also not too good to love from my heart. I know about unconditional love. It is only in theory. She is a housewife and depends on me. We have a daughter. It is an arranged marriage. I regret that I did not do proper research/enquiry about her or her family. I have problems because of my inlaws also. She loves them. I hate them. I am honest. She tells lies, hides things, not very open with me. This is one thing that troubles me a lot. I read books she does not. I am sensitive. She is not. I also dont find any reasons to leave her. How do I change my attitude and love her and accept her as she is? When I think about these things I am disturbed and dont concentrate on my work. Please help me.