How to get sick fast?

OK, my mother wants to drive three hours in a car across the state to this ugly beach town that is, well, one of those city's retired people go to. Besides a beach there is...nothing else to do. Except visit overpriced boutiques where the only children's clothes they sell make you want to pinch your childs cheeks. By the way their is only one childrens boutique. Shudder. Besides the town, which is by the way SANIBEL FLORIDA YUCKYUCK, riding for three hours in a car with my grandma & mom, is like, freaking torture. They never talk to anyone in the backseats and just blab on about politics. THE ONLY WAY TO SURVIVE THAT CAR RIDE IS A CHEX MIX OF DRUGS, let me tell you. So, in order to cancel this vacation bound for hell, how can I get sick fast? PS I am doing my mother a favor. All of us will complain after there is nothing to do and just end up fighting. I mean I gotta be SICK for her to cancel this..HEEELLPPPP MEEEE